5 Ways to Destress During the Holidays

“Stressed spelled backward is desserts.“

Loreta Laroche

Something smells like it’s burning, your cousin ate the last cookie, and you just dodged your grandpa from asking when you plan on having a kid; it’s another holiday season with someone crying and it’s probably you.

The holiday season is a time for overindulgence in joy, goodwill, festivities, and family if you can stand them long enough to get to the joy part. A special time of year when stress can build as fast as department stores replace Halloween skeletons with candy canes. Whether it’s the holiday overtime at work, the icy roads, or the incessant Mariah Carrey songs on the radio, stress and the holidays go hand in hand.

But it doesn’t have to be that way. It is possible to enjoy your family, friends, and food without a mental meltdown. To get to the New Year still feeling hopeful and excited. With a few adjustments to your holiday season, you can enjoy the festivities with your brain cells intact.

Here are my 5 Steps to Destress During the Holidays: 

Plan Ahead

The most obvious and practical way to destress during the holidays is to plan. Planning allows you to organize and create systems that will support your holiday efforts BEFORE the stress has a chance to build. 

Preemptive planning lets you get a head start on creating a peaceful atmosphere on those important days. Instead of running around last minute like a chicken with your head cut off, you can rest easier knowing (for the most part) that everything has already been thought of and prepared.

This goes for nearly everything involved in holiday prep:

• Scheduling work time off
• Creating your grocery list
• Budgeting for gifts
• Outlining guest sleeping arrangements
• Deep cleaning the family car
• Getting the pets groomed
• Setting out that sweater your Grandmother made you last year
• Hiding the spirits from that one uncle…

Whatever you anticipate being a stressor, do yourself the favor, and don’t procrastinate when you can pre-plan. A little bit of extra effort before the big event, makes all the difference in the moment of catastrophe. 

Delegate

This is something women don’t do enough. Wives, and mothers, we think: “If this needs to be done, it means I need to do it.” In some instances yes, you are probably the better fit. However, many aspects of the holiday season can be passed off to the helpers around you. Allow them to show you their love by helping you.

• Grocery shopping
• Pre-cleaning the house
• Planning the holiday travel
• Sorting the family visits
• Setting the table
• Wrapping the gifts
• Insert menial task here…

The million or so micro-tasks that make up the holiday season do not have to be accomplished by only one person. Lean on your husband, friends, children, and extended family. Creating magic in the holidays can be a team effort, that feels so much more satisfying when done together.

Expect the Unexpected

When planning and organizing a meeting of just 2 people can create all sorts of issues. If you want to meet your girlfriend for lunch you have to coordinate each other’s work schedules, family routines, meal times, hair wash days, etc. The holidays are that on steroids. With extended family coming into town, school vacation schedules, meal planning, and more. It can be a headache and a half trying to create order out of chaos.

Even the best Type A planner is going to have their share of setbacks. Go into this holiday season setting realistic expectations and expect the unexpected. Something is bound to go wrong. And when it does, don’t lose your cool.

And if/when something goes wrong, don’t let it stress you out. If someone makes a mistake let it be laughable. Perhaps create a new family tradition around it. The most perfect part about the holidays is being together, let that be enough for your inner perfectionist.

Make a 1-minute Reset Button

Picture this:

It’s the night before the big event, dinner with your family. The house is half decorated, and you forgot yet another vital ingredient mid-recipe making your husband turn the car back to the store for the second time. Your in-laws call to say they are coming a day early and you cannot remember the last time you sat down.

This scenario is the kind of chaos only the holidays can provide. In moments like this, you can almost feel your stress mounting like a cartoon thermometer. Alas, moments like that, are a near certainty. 

To combat the unexpected visits, the accidentally burnt food, and the forgotten ingredients that no amount of planning can overcome, you need a 1-minute reset button. Something quick that can calm you down and energize you to problem-solve and get through the afternoon.

• Make a Mantra: “I will not kill my children,” “It’s one day a year,” “They will all be gone tomorrow,” “It’s for the memories.” 
• Squeeze a stress ball: An oldie but a goodie. If a squishy stress ball is the only thing standing between you and a total meltdown, so be it. 
• Hide in the closet with emergency gummy bears (or whatever snack you like): Take a moment to yourself, away from nosey toddlers, and pregame with something to sate your sweet tooth.
• Step outside for fresh air: Taking the above a step further, take a further step away from your stress by getting out of the house for a breather. 

Whatever reset you decide on make sure it is something that grounds you back into a calm frame of mind. It’ll help you get through the momentary freak-out and make it to where you can manage again in a better mental space.

Holiday After-Care

The family has been fed, the kids have destroyed the house, and your tummy looks like you’ve swallowed a whole watermelon. In other words, another successful holiday party.

After the adrenaline rush and food comas subside, that sneaky stress can slither back in. The house is likely a mess, your mind is frazzled, and don’t even look at the state of the kitchen. A new kind of overwhelm sets in not long after the last guest leaves the house. The need to clean, reset, and pack away leftover bits of bird and pie. But after a long day(s) of cooking, socializing, and eating it’s unlikely you’ll feel up to washing yet another dish.

Most holidays have a way of draining even the most prepared. You must have a way of destressing after the party is over, otherwise, you run the risk of losing all the happy endorphins you collected by spending quality time with your loved ones. Which is why I recommend holiday after-care. 

Ideally, this should be a pre-planned opportunity for you to fight off the stress waiting around the corner to darken what should be a happy day. Rebooting and giving yourself time to exhale should be the first thing you do before the urge to obsessively clean kicks in.

This can be anything that takes your mind off the burnt globs at the bottom of the oven. Here are a few of my suggestions:

• Get a massage: Get someone else to dig the knots you created in your back from sumo squatting a 20lb Turkey into a low oven.
• Take a post-dinner walk: Getting a breath of fresh air, and walking off some of the lethargy can be a great way to combat the stress waiting for you inside.
• Take a bubble bath: Simple, but one of my favorite ways to destress. Grab some Epsom salts, a glass of Sparkling Cider, and your favorite bubbles, and soak your tired muscles away.
• Hire a cleaning service: As cleaning up after feasting and festivities tends to be one of the major stressors, hiring a cleaning service to come in after the party is over to deep clean is one less headache you don’t need.

Final Notes

The holidays are supposed to be a time for fun, family, and an obscene amount of food. A time for making meaningful memories with the people you love, memories that would be soured if you didn’t feel like yourself due to stress. 

By preemptively prioritizing your needs you allow yourself the chance to enjoy the holiday season, stress-free. 

*As stress-free as congregating with your family allows.

By following these 5 steps to destress during the holidays you will exit this holiday season feeling refreshed and ready for next year. You want to be able to step into the New Year feeling ready to accomplish your goals. Not sluggish and burnt out from a gingerbread cookie-induced stress-eating marathon. 

The holiday season encourages us to look outside of ourselves and to share the joy and the holiday spirit of generosity and kindness. As you begin to ride those good tidings I urge you to not forget about yourself. Be kind with your self-talk and generous with your self-care. That said, Happy Holidays!

Until nest time,