Achieving a Balanced Life

“Balance is not a static experience but a state of continual change and movement within a larger system.”

-Claire Miller, BCTMB

The above quote was written in an article titled “Reflexology and Massage” in the 2023 summer edition of The Massage Therapy Journal. The symbolic balance found in the Chinese meridian system of Yin and Yang; that balance exists both in the macro (our universe and its natural systems) and the micro (within our bodies). The concept of Yin and Yang is an artful way of depicting the simple balance we all search for. Achieveing a balanced life is a common goal for most. To feel as though we can do it all, control the macro and micro around us, while living within our authenic bounds.  

We want to know there is more to life than the overwhelmed and stressed out verion of us. Believing we can affect real and lasting change that supports our happiness while still getting things done.  

With our overcrowed schedules, daily frustrations, and abundance of problems there seems to always be something in the way of us achieving sustainable balance. While challenging to kickstart, it is not impossible to achieve. With time, patience, and some personal effort, living a well balanced life is completely attainable and rewarding to boot!

The Basics to a Balanced Life

As Julie Andrews in the Sound of Music said “Let’s start at the very beginning, it’s a very good place to start.” We are all aware there are general guidelines we can follow to life a more well-balanced life. Some of these guidelines are as follows:

• Eating habits
• Sleep habits
• Social connection
• Mental health routines
• Physical activity
• Hygiene and organization
• Spiritual connection

Essentially, the basic tenants of self-investment. These guidelines are the baseline foundation to living a well-rounded life. Optimizing your schedule to prioritize your own well-being however, is challenging to keep up with. Challenging not just because there are so many categories of life to maintain, but because we often fail to define for ourselves what we individually deem to be “balanced.”

Have you ever thought about what a balanced life looks like for you? Is balance healthy? Sucessful? Does it prioritse a social life? Can it be affected by work? How do you know when you are out of balance?

Very simply put, what is important to you?

These are questions that need to be answered before you embark on any transformational journey. Otherwise you will be chasing someone elses version of balance, which may not work for your unique needs.

In my daily work life as a Massage Therapist I see what happens when there is little or no balance in a persons life. When people ignore their need for proper sleep, or don’t eat enough, are dehydrated, or haven’t stretched in 10 years. We abuse our bodies and neglect our needs at a strikingly habitual pace. Self-neglect, seems to be at an all time high. We are a culture of busy people. Side-hussles, part-time jobs, continued education, kids and family. There is always something to do, yet, we forget to prioritize ourselves in the process.

Starting back with the basics of balance is where we can begin to fight self-neglect. Checking in with ourselves before we burnout; setting healthy boundaries and taking charge of our life is how we start to build that balance.  

Uncovering the Hidden

Something that is made very clear in massage school is the connection between the mind and the body. Not just the physical systems of the nerves, organs, and tissues and how they sense our inner world and relay information outwards and vise versa. But the association between our thoughts, experiences, and personal histories and how they affect our physical body. In the massage world there is an phenomenon known as an Emotional Release.  

Throughout our lives we collected experiences. Good, bad, happy, sad; the full range of human emotion. Those experiences, especially the big moments, are not just felt mentally and emotionally, but are somtimes physically stored in the body. The human body remembers trauma, even when we somtimes forget or intentially supress.

During a massage, as the muscles are manipluated to relieve physical tension they can also relieve emotional tension. We all have heard of “holding tension”. Like when you clench your jaw or bunch up your shoulders to your neck when irritated, frustraited, or stressed.  

The body is an excellent indicator of how you are doing on the inside, and vise versa. When you experience those stressful emotions from say a car crash or being yelled at by your boss, and you feel yourself tense up. Your body remembers those encounters, and the more they happen the easier it is for you to slide into those defensive postures. Not just that! Different parts of the body can hold specific emotions, depending on the person. 

 Using myself as an example, I hold my anxiety on the posterior aspect of my left rib cage, and my anger in my hips. I have a friend who holds their anger in their lower back, and fear for their children in their diaphragm. Each of us are different. So during a massage, those hidden emotions have an opportuinity to assert themselves. Oftentimes because we have not properly dealt with them. We seem to be very good at stuffing down our feelings.

In 2013 there was a study done where they have mapped where common emotions show up in the body. An interesting view of where people generally hold and store emotions. Check out more on that here. 

The next time you get a massage, try to be more self-aware of what you are feeling and where. 

 You cannot heal what you cannot feel.

I say all this to highlight that there is more to achieving a balanced life than organizing your schedule and eating healthy. We must also take into account what is hidden. Our tiggers and traumas, both seen and unseen thrive on our contiued self-neglect. Overcoming that neglect is what aids our efforts to achieving a balanced life. We cannot turn our backs on the parts of ourselves we don’t like. Ignoring a problem only makes it grow. To uncover the hidden is to take accountability of all parts of yourself, and allow it to finally get the healing you need.

Self-investment

Considering the name of this blog is a play on words for self-investment, it shouldn’t be a surprise to see it is a key point in this particular post.  

Investing in yourself is any action taken to promote your present and future well-being by pouring your time, effort, and resources back into yourself. The sweet spot found between selfishness and selflessness. A place where you are the priority.

The nemesis of a balanced life is as we have established, self-neglect. Once we have outlined our needs,understood the basic catergories of self-investment and identified what is hidden we must then create new systems for maintaining that understanding. Not just maintaining, but growing it.  

Choosing to do the deep work and uncover hidden traumas is investing in yourself. Deciding to sleep instead of working an unnecesary overtime shift is investing in yourself. Buying an online course to further your interest in the mind-body connection is an act of self-investment. Prioritizing your needs over the wants of others is an act of self-investment.  

Balance, however you define it, cannot be achieved if you aren’t supporting your own requirements for living that ideal life. Life only moves forward, creating new experiences, entering new spaces and explores what’s next. Your outlook and needs will change over time, creating new opportunites for growth and development. 

You will know instinctually when change is needed in your life. Noticing your mood, your habits, patterns, and thoughts overtime will show you whether you feel peace in your life. That’s all balance is…peace.  

Feeling a sense of purpose, fulfillment or meaning, knowing that while you may not have all the answers, your trajectory is one that feels in alignment with your intentions. Self-investment practices keep you on track and help you focus your intentions in the best investment you could ever make…yourself.

Final Notes

A balanced life is subjective. A corporate work-a-holics balance will probably be way off the mark for a free-spirited yogi. Achieving a balanced life is what you want it to be. Stress, shame, and guilt have no place when you are rebranding and building the life of your dreams.

Define for yourself what balance means to you. Start with the basics and work out from there. Keep in mind balance includes supporting your inner needs as well as maintaing outer ones. Be gentle when making new changes. Investing in yourself is so healing, but can feel uncomfortable to those who have habitually ignored their needs. 

Keep in mind that as you move through life you’re allowed to have grace. Right now, you have never experienced this moment and the unique organization of current events and you never will again. Each new day, even if you do the same routine as the day before, has a different tinge to it. A different perspective, mood, or outlook. It’s okay to not know what you are doing, because you’ve never lived this day before.

I know for myself, as I have learned balance, I have recognized that not everything needs to be criticised or measured. Life can just be what it is, unpredicatable. Finding my way to work around that and maintain my sense of peace through that overarching lack of control, is an ongoing effort. One we all face. Achieveing balance is our attempt to manipulate our life, a play at controlling what sometimes is simply uncontrollable. Learning to let go may be the hardest lesson of all, but one that rewards a deeper sense of freedom than our strong-hold could ever offer.

Until nest time,