Finding Your Purpose As A Sensitive Soul
There is no greater gift you can give or receive than to honor your calling. It’s why you were born. And how you become most truly alive.
– Oprah Winfrey
“What is my purpose in life?” This is a question I have asked myself for years. The idea there is one unifying thing I am uniquely equipped to do is very attractive. Finding your purpose would add meaning and focus to the humdrum of our daily routines. Give reason to each breath we take and instill a sense of lasting accomplishment in life.
The search for the meaning of life seems to be a common plot line within each person’s story. We want to know why we are here. We want to feel a part of something bigger than ourselves to make sense of our seemingly random existence. We want to know we are not a mistake; that our life has a purpose.
Being a sensitive soul (Empaths and Introverts) this search for meaning is heightened. Feeling overwhelmed by the thoughts and emotions of others is one thing, let alone having to ponder your existence. The existential horror of it all is a quarter-life crisis waiting to happen. Sensitives want to believe we are needed. That there are reasons behind the dark and twisty parts of life. That our natural empathy and soft natures are valuable.
So we do what sensitive souls do best, we turn inwards and dissect our lives. We question each action, analyze each thought, and overthink our future. Desperately searching for something to latch onto that fills that void and provides focus.
Each of us has something that makes us feel alive. As though there is an innate piece of us that is hidden or unexplored that has finally come home.
A mistake I have made in the past is thinking there is only one thing I am good at. One thing that uniquely defines my journey and reason for life. Over time I have come to realize that there can be many different pieces that make you feel whole.
I believe that God plants a seed within us from the very beginning. Something we are born with that we are organically drawn to or are good at. Something that if we allow ourselves to tap into it, we can change the world for the better.
Throughout my journey of learning, healing, and growing I have observed a few problems sensitive souls face when it comes to finding their purpose.
3 Problems That Deter Finding Your Purpose
Problem 1: Modern culture has us believing our purpose is something that has to be monetized to be useful.
Many people feel pressure to wrap up their purpose with a dollar amount. The only value we are accustomed to are transactional ones. The idea that your purpose has no easily identifiable monetary value can make it feel less significant. When in fact is it possible that’s the way it was supposed to be all along? Just enjoying living your journey with ease.
Not just that! Not feeling pressure to make money off your purpose (at least to start) will help keep the stress down.
Perhaps these are difficult ideals to uphold in today’s society, but there is something to be said for the purity that comes with a purpose lived and shared guilt-free. You don’t always have to make money from your natural gifts. Just because you don’t monetize something doesn’t mean it’s not valuable.
On the flip side, you shouldn’t feel bad because you’ve decided to monetize your purpose; you’ve got to eat too! Might as well kill two birds with one stone.
Problem 2: When you decrease the importance of your natural gift(s) just because it isn’t mainstream, obvious, or what you expected.
You may be an excellent listener, and make people feel heard and understood. Or you might be especially good at organization, your mind sees order and patterns where others see only chaos.
Our purpose is not always tangible. It is easier to identify an action or physical skill as having purpose or value. But there is value in the intangible too, the immaterial world is just as important.
You may not understand why you are particularly good at what you do and may not immediately find the purpose of your purpose. Changing the world doesn’t always mean healing the masses or establishing world peace. Changing the world can be as simple as helping your neighbor cut their grass when they are sick. Donating cookies to your local homeless shelter, or helping a friend through a breakup.
You may not see the immediate effects of employing your gifts, but that doesn’t mean there isn’t an impact.
You may not change the world globally, but you may change someone’s world for the better.
Leading with your heart’s natural character can help you uncover those ambiguous skills. There is much to be said for the intangible gifts sensitive souls have within their arsenal.
Problem 3: Thinking our purpose should come easily; and if it doesn’t that means we don’t have one.
I believe that those seeds of purpose God gives us can only grow with time and experience. There are many different kinds of hardships in the world, and each of us has some. We often see those times as senseless pain and misery. They certainly can feel miserable. But what if they weren’t senseless?
What if each failed relationship, job loss, uncertain path, or illness was drawing out and refining our purpose?
It is challenging for me to believe that ALL the pain in the world is meaningless. This by no means downplays the true horrors some of us face. Simply trying to view it from a different lens.
These pains might be highlighting our unique passions, abilities, or characteristics that further our ability to improve the world and people around us in a special way. We get caught up in how bad those experiences can be instead of looking for the hidden lesson within. Lessons that teach us and promote our evolution into being who we were meant to be.
If we don’t try to find the silver lining in the muck of our daily disasters, then aren’t we doomed to fall into them again?
Disney Who?
The Irwin family is my favorite example of people living their purpose. Steve Irwin, known to all as the beloved Crocodile Hunter started out in a small time zoo in Australia. In 1991 his future wife Terri flew from the US to Australia to find sanctuary space for animals she was working to preserve. She happened upon the small zoo Steve was showcasing his love for his crocodiles. After the show, they met, and instant sparks flew. During a whirlwind romantic summer, Steve put Terri to work mucking stalls and tending to animals, during which they fell in love. Over time until his tragic death in 2006, their love of wildlife (and each other) grew into two children (who now continue their work) a large animal conservatory, and a globally renowned name.
This tragic but very real story has shown me that when you align with your purpose the world opens up to you. Finding your purpose doesn’t mean you are exempt from pain, rather, it sweetens the ride we call life.
Steve and Terri are two people who found their purpose, animal conservation, and having pursued that goal, found their match in each other. A better love story than anything Disney could make.
Where to Start?
It is easy to become overwhelmed by all the options in life. The fear of picking the wrong passion and wasting time. Or of reaching old age and not having found it. Sensitives are amazing overthinkers, conjuring up the wildest most potentially devastating end for any situation.
To an overthinking mind, I would say slow down.
Stressing over finding your purpose is the best way to not find it. Instead, and this might be hard to do, just live your life.
There is no time wasted. Each interest we explore, and each skill we learn serves to enrich our lives and make us well-rounded and interesting people. Take the stress off yourself and just learn to let go a bit. I know the idea of having control is very appealing, but if you try to force your way to your purpose you might be missing out on an easier journey.
After learning how to chill out a bit here are some of the methods I used to find my purpose:
Reflect on past experiences, and look for patterns, cycles, and reoccurring themes.
Take the time to uncover old traumas and triggers that get in the way of finding your peace.
Allow yourself a season to heal and rest.
Then, focus on the parts of life that make you sparkle. No matter how small or mundane it may seem.
When you focus on the good, while not ignoring the bad, you start to live an authentically unapologetic life. Opportunities start to open and support your true calling. The whole objective is self-discovery. Prioritize getting to know yourself gently and honestly, building a strong foundation of self-awareness and self-confidence.
*Disclaimer
Finding your purpose likely won’t remain constant. The way you express your purpose will change over time. As you continue to live more of life you will likely implement your purpose in differently. Your purpose could niche down, expand worldwide, or completely change as new experiences reshape your journey!
The most impactful changes, and often where true purpose lies are in service to others. When you can step outside of yourself and see where you naturally fit in and fill a gap is where the most wholesome and fulfilling purpose can be found.
The light-hearted and other-centered approach to life encourages a life of intentional peace, especially through those tough times.
“Failure” is Inevitable
Before In-nested I tried blogging before, made an e-course, and asked everyone in my sphere of influence for support. Spent months on it only to have no success. With a small handful of an audience, my family making up the largest portion, and no sales, the experience could easily be labeled a failure.
I thought I was following my purpose, I had never felt as passionate about any other project. And yet, it still failed miserably. It took me months to regroup. But I needed that time to uncover what went wrong and how I planned on trying again. A daunting endeavor after such a public collapse. I learned that trying to monetize from the start with such a scattered vision ultimately killed my passion. The very thing I wanted to share I began to dread.
If I had believed my previous failure to be just that, I wouldn’t be where I am now. Though this blog is still in its early stages I truly believe in its potential. Letting go of my ego and seeing the lesson for what it was helped me overcome some of that inner perfectionist. When finding your purpose you need to prepare yourself for a bumpy ride.
I felt like I took all the right steps in preparing, organizing, and stretching the bounds of my comfort. Subconsciously expecting instant success with no pitfalls. But no one is that unlucky. Unlucky because pitfalls, setbacks, and dead-in-the-water moments are what refine our purpose and dreams. Without them, success is shallow and underappreciated.
Final Notes
Risk is a vulnerable space to be in. Testing the waters of your dreams and experimenting with life is daunting. We all want to be right. We want the clear-cut path to success, freedom, and purpose without the pain and hardships that come along with it.
We would more readily walk through life a stranger to ourselves than risk our comfortable complacency.
Even the smallest belief in your potential can make the greatest difference. Finding your purpose is about living an authentic life. Being honest with yourself about how you want your life story to play out. Sometimes we get so bogged down by small disappointments we forget we are the ones in the captain’s seat.
Pursue meaning. Invest in what makes your heart beat faster with excitement. Chase what feels equal parts intimidating and like coming home. Pursue these things with reckless abandon and singular focus. Somewhere along the journey, you will find what your heart has been searching for.
I’d love to share that journey here with you at In-nested, the Sanctuary for Sensitive Souls. Join my newsletter from The Nest and we can grow in our purpose together!
Until next time,
