Overcoming Obstacles: Identifying Roadblocks to Fulfilling Your Purpose
The heart of human excellence often begins to beat when you discover a pursuit that absorbs you, frees you, challenges you, or gives you a sense of meaning, joy, or passion.
– Terry Orlick
Purpose is synonymous with intention. Each person holds value and a certain set of experiences that can touch the world in a specific and impactful way. Purpose creates a sense of direction. A direction that unlocks our inner potential and reveals deeper layers of authenticity. Leading towards a path that is uniquely meant for you. There are many obstacles that inhibit us from finding and fulfilling our purpose.
Many things inhibit us from finding and pursuing our purpose. Life is complicated. It is easy to become distracted, confused, or overwhelmed. Through childhood, we are bombarded with external ideas of what we should be doing with our lives. Ideals that try to shove us into a one-size-fits-all mold of who we should be.
- “Explore your passions, but make sure they are profitable.”
- “Selfless acts are only valuable if you document them on Instagram.”
- “If you’re not being productive, you’re worthless.”
We can’t seem to win. We aren’t allowing ourselves room to breathe, let alone discover what sparks joy in us. Purpose is about finding the aspects of life that help make your life make sense. What inspires you, heals you, and creates a community around you? The things that bring you hope, the places we go when we want to feel something other than distraction and loneliness.
Purpose is more than a goal we seek to achieve. Purpose lights us up and brings out more of you than anything else. It can be one, or many different things that connect you to some greater…well…purpose. I believe our purpose is God-given. Knowing us before we were born, God instilled in us hidden gifts, that through life we get the interesting challenge of uncovering. It is not a test to pass; rather a beautiful way you uniquely get to connect to yourself, the world, and Spirit.
“For I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”
To ignore your purpose is to ignore a piece of yourself. As we begin to invest in ourselves, healing and growing, we begin to self-actualize. To, as the dictionary would say, “achieve our full potential through creativity, independence, spontaneity, and a grasp of the real world.”
Reaching that potential takes time as we play the game called life. Each experience reveals new chapters of our story and our purpose, should we have the desire to seek it out.
As you begin your journey, here are four obstacles that may be getting in the way of your purpose.
Change
You can expect a shift on the road to finding your purpose. Any form of growth, be it personal or professional, requires something to be left behind. Poor habits, old beliefs, and a negative mindset are deadweights that impeded our ability to thrive. Expanding the current version of yourself requires you to change, adapt, and evolve. That change is the requirement needed for you to make space for new aspects of yourself.
That is why it is so important to allow yourself to feel all the accompanying emotions. A shift in your lifestyle or way of being is like a mini-death. The old you dies to make room for the “new” you. Old beliefs disappear to pave the road for a new purpose. Allowing yourself to grieve in that process is healing and necessary for the sustainability of this new path.
You may have a clear idea of what you think you should be doing. Planned for you since birth, cemented into you from school, or simply from following the crowd. Or you think your purpose is small and insignificant in the grand scheme of things. When in reality, it is the small consistent changes that make the biggest and long-lasting difference.
Allowing your plans to change as you change is what keeps you from becoming stagnant. And allows your true purpose to unveil itself once you give up what you think you should be doing, and just exist. Live your life, try new things, and play around. Finding your purpose isn’t a cut-and-dry method. You have to live to discover where you are meant to be. Even then, allow that image to evolve as well. Your purpose doesn’t have to be stagnant.
Not allowing yourself the space to change your trajectory may be what is getting in the way of your purpose.
Monetization
The “What do you want to be when you grow up?” is a question that has haunted generations.
Society seems to closely associate the validity of your dreams with how big the paycheck that comes with it is. There are innumerable blog posts about how to monetize your passion.
While there is nothing wrong with wanting to kill two birds with one stone. Making your passions your full-time job, getting paid to do what you love. The problem comes in when the rigors of keeping the job you’ve now created for yourself becomes overwhelming. And worse, when it starts to bleed the joy out of something you once held dear.
I know I tried it. I love baking. I love feeding people good and comforting foods. So I found a unique spin on it and created an online course The Ultimate Guide to Limited Space Baking and a fully incorporated business along with it called Willow Tree Bake House. Teaching people how to bake with limited or unorthodox living spaces (like RVs, dorms, tiny apartments, etc.) Ultimately after months of hard work, the business was a flop, not a single membership was sold.
Though disheartening in more ways than one, I learned so much, which helped me launch what you see here today. But after that hard-learned lesson, I realized I didn’t want to add pressure to something that genuinely makes me happy to do for free. I might dabble in baking endeavors in the future, but not with the same ferocity as before.
Your purpose may not be the cash cow you think it should be. Perhaps your purpose is to be a thoughtful listener and cultivate deep relationships with others. Perhaps you naturally are a homemaker and mother, an incredible job to have! Just because your purpose doesn’t make you money, doesn’t mean it has no value.
Your purpose has value because it lights you up from the inside out. Even when it’s challenging, it brings you meaning and fulfillment. Maybe it helps others, making a positive difference in this world.
Restricting your purpose to being monetized may be what is getting in the way of your purpose.
F.O.M.O
With the fast-paced world we live in it can often feel as though we are falling behind. Left and right our friends are getting married, settling down, and having kids. People around us are being promoted. 16-year-old kids are raking in millions from online businesses. Our parents could afford to buy a house when they were our age for 11 raspberries.
We look around and see others advancing while we are feeling lost in the same position we were in last year. It can feel overwhelming, shameful, or even depressing. The thing is, none of that matters. To compare your life to another is an unequal analysis. Even if you have a twin, no one is living the same life you are, facing the same challenges with the same mindset and beliefs. We are not in a race to some unknown finish line.
To race to the end of life will only end in disappointment when you get there and are still not happy. Why is your happiness contingent on “this” happening, or “that” stopping? You will never be happy or content if you continually expect happiness around the corner instead of making it right here where you are now.
Allowing yourself to just live without judgment or expectations allows you to just breathe. Take time for yourself and organically uncover what makes you feel fulfilled without the burdensome pressure attached. You cannot miss out on a life you are still actively living. Your purpose is patient it’s not going anywhere without you. And can only have its full effect on the world if you are in a healthy and balanced place. To push yourself towards an undefined goal isn’t being true to yourself, or your purpose. You cannot be effective when you are struggling to maintain a dream that isn’t meant to be yours.
So let go. Let go of the need to impress, keep up, or pretend. Sit with yourself, get to know who you are, and what makes you shine. You are right where you are meant to be. If it doesn’t feel that way, then there is probably some lesson you are missing.
Life can suck, it can suck a lot in a lot of different ways. It can feel condescending to hear someone say “look for the lesson in the pain” when all you feel is pain. However annoying there is truth to it. However terrible an experience is, there is balance within it. You cannot walk through fire without feeling better prepared the next time it heats up. The fire teaches you to cherish the rain a little more than you did before. And provides the ability to warn someone when they are about to step into the flames. Each pain has a reason or a lesson that can be learned. Perhaps your pain inspires you to share your story, uplifting and encouraging others with similar pain in a way only you two can share.
We are a collection of stories, dreams, lessons, and plans. To fear you are missing out on what may not have even happened yet is a waste of you. Perhaps the fear of missing out is what is getting in the way of your purpose.
Belief
Having a purpose requires some level of self-belief. That what you intend to achieve is possible. To do more than you think you can, or others believe you can. To push past the limits of your mindset and seek out that which you have never done before.
Whether you think you lack meaning behind your supposed purpose. Or you struggle with self-doubt, perfectionism, and fear. For you to feel fulfillment, your purpose needs you to be courageous.
It can be difficult to put yourself out there. Chasing after a goal or mission that feels daunting, overwhelming, or unattainable. The fear of others’ judgment is strong, but the unconquered inner fear you hold is much worse. Our purpose is meant to stretch us, to help us grow and develop, and hopefully, to help others do the same. Find your confidence by rooting it in the tangible things you love about yourself. Prove to yourself you can be trusted; learn to respect your boundaries.
Set an intention to be bold with your self-belief.
Maybe a lack of self-belief is what is getting in the way of your purpose.
Final Notes
As women, we tend to get in our way. Creating problems where there are none, holding fear and shame close to our chest. Lacking the fearlessness needed to be unapologetically ourselves, living life as we see fit.
It is possible to be fearless and feminine.
Doing the inner work required to heal and self-actualize, is where we can start to uncover what path is meant for us. Sifting through our inner chaos, facing what is difficult, and learning to overcome our stress, co-dependencies, fears, limiting beliefs, and our lack of self-understanding. That deep effort is challenging and can feel lonely.
I highly recommend you not go about this alone. Women need to build each other up and support our fellow feminines as we grow. Here at In-nested, I hope to do just that. To be a small piece of the internet that has a big impact on the way women view themselves, and each other. I welcome you to join the bi-monthly newsletter “from The Nest” found on the homepage and get inspiration and support as we chase our purpose together.
Until nest time,
