What is an Introvert?

“In a gentle way, you can shake the world.”

~ Mahatma Gandhi

The dictionary definition of an Introvert is a person characterized as being “shy or reticent.” Meaning they do not easily reveal their inner feelings and are predominantly concerned with their thoughts and emotions.

While this definition does play a part in explaining who introverts can be, it doesn’t illuminate the full picture. 

In the early 1900’s the Swiss psychologist Carl Jung first coined the terms introversion, and its opposite counterpart, extroversion. At their core, these terms sort people into two personality and temperament groups.  

Introversion and extroversion are ways of classifying how a person orients, interacts and processes the world around them.  

Most people would describe introverts as shy, aloof, selectively social, and self-conscious loners (this is coming from an introvert.) Extroverts are classically defined as being outgoing, expressive, and confident social butterflies. One is painted as the life of the party, and the other is the social recluse. The yin and yang of the social world. 

As jarring as that juxtaposition sounds the difference between an introvert and an extrovert is very simple.

Introverts process the world differently. 

What excites and energizes extroverts tires out introverts.

An introvert’s preference is to be in minimally stimulating environments. Places that cultivate calm and focus. Preferring the peace and creative environment of their own head to the unpredictable and draining outer world.

Introverts turn inwards to recharge their energies, while extroverts are re-energized from and prefer to interact with others.

 What makes an introvert feel safe, secure, and understood differs from our counterpart. 

The low social desire of an introvert is not due to their inability to connect with others. Some of the deepest connections you can make are with an introvert. Rather introverts become mentally and physically exhausted from constant communication and are therefore more selective in their social interactions.

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Since Carl Jung’s days, studies have shown there are multiple ways introversion can be subdivided into more specific introvert groups.

In 2011, research done by psychologists Jennifer Grimes, Jonathan Cheek, and Julie Norem categorized four main types: Social introvert, Thinking introvert, Anxious introvert, and Restrained introvert.

The Four Types:

Social introverts

 This is the “classic” idea of an introvert. Social introverts prefer small groups and quiet settings over crowds. Sometimes misrepresented as having social anxiety, social introverts desire solitude rather than fear social interaction.

Thinking introverts 

Often found with their head in a book these people are daydreamers. Spending a lot of time in their thoughts or learning something new is where these introverts find their peace. With contemplative and creative imaginations you can expect thoughtful 1:1 discussions and deep conversations. Very self-aware, very introspective.

Anxious introverts 

Erring on the side of nervous quiet, these introverts seek out alone time. Because they often feel awkward or shy around people, these introverts turn inwards to avoid the anxiety of social interaction. Their avoidant behaviors can come off as rude, when in fact they are just protective of their space and energy.  

Restrained/inhibited introverts

 These introverts tend to have their guard up. Being thoughtful and grounded characterize this group. Thinking before they act, these introverts typically take longer to take action. Preferring to maintain control of their environment is important. Methodical, stead-fast, dutiful, and predictable are good ways of describing these introverts. 

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Speaking from personal experience, most introverts are misunderstood. We are downplayed as being weaker, less energetic, unfriendly, or difficult to connect with. When in fact there are many advantages of being an introvert.

The Pros

There are many reasons to be proud of your introversion. Being the sensitive soul you are, you can tap into a side of you that the world could use a little more of. 

Throughout the United States, approximately half the population has identified themselves as being introverted. That means that there are more people out there that think and act the same way you do. It helps me not feel so alone to know others process the world similarly.

Some of the more famous people in history, present and past, are introverts:

Here are some of the upsides to being an introvert:

• They make good listeners.
• They often think before they speak and act, making them less prone to accidents that come from impulsive behavior.
• They’re observant problem solvers.
• Introverts can be extraordinarily creative.
• They can connect deeply, making great partners.
• They’re thoughtful when networking as their social batteries only last so long.
• They make compassionate and thoughtful leaders.
• The deep-thinking nature of introverts can foster a detail-oriented personality.

When in a healthy frame of mind, an introvert can thrive and change the world with their sensitive compassion.

Embracing who you are and learning to live in harmony with your natural internal wiring is where you find your peace. 

The Cons

Each personality type has its ups and downsides. There may be parts of the introverted personality that make life more challenging to navigate. That could simply be because you haven’t learned how to embrace and work with your natural inclinations. Or, you are living an inauthentic life, playing a character that is not naturally you. Or the simple fact that the world tends to be too harsh for your sensitive nature which can throw things off.

I know what it is to live on autopilot, allowing life to happen to you and not with you. Finding your balance internally allows you to tame the following unhealthy behaviors:

• Emotional exhaustion
• Overanalyzing situations
• Limited social capacity
• Introverts struggle with superficial conversations and relationships, they require meaning/depth
• Self-conscious, and self-critical perfectionism
• Can have poor communication skills, and struggle with boundary setting
• Can be misconstrued as rude, antisocial, or aloof
• Overstimulation (can be sights, sounds, lights, or people)
• Slower to connect with and feel safe with others
• Over-considerate…again, boundaries!

It is important to listen to your body’s cues. When you have had enough social interaction and need rest, listen to that. Communicate your boundaries physically, socially, and mentally to protect your overstimulated mind. Each of those behaviors only happens when you are not living in tune with your authentic self.

Stay true to who you are. Listen to and honor your unique needs. Being an introvert can be pretty cool, don’t let anyone make you question your worth just because you experience the world differently than they do.

Are You an Introvert?

There is a spectrum of introversion. A person might be an extroverted-introvert or have introverted tendencies. You can even fall right in the middle and be called an “ambivert.” The way you were raised to interact with the world around you, and the opportunities you had to exercise your social skills all play a part. That said, at your core, each of us leans more to one side or the other in terms of what situations make you feel your best.

There are a few signs that might indicate you are an introvert at heart:

• You need quiet to concentrate
• You are reflective
• You are self-aware
• You have limited social capacity
• Take time making decisions
• Feel comfortable being alone
• You prefer to work individually instead of in groups
• You might prefer to write rather than talk
• You feel emotionally exhausted after being in large crowds for an extended period of time
• You require time to open up
• You retreat into your mind to rest and problem solve

While not the end all be all, if any of those bullet points above sound familiar then you probably have some level of introversion within you.

Final Notes

Being a sensitive soul as an introvert is a gift. The way we process and see the world is unique. Our sensitivity, our stillness, and our thoughtfulness is our strength.  

When healthy an introvert can make the greatest leaders, the strongest friends, and the best partners. To be a healthy introvert you need to remember that there is nothing wrong with the way you process the world. Of course, each of us has aspects we need to improve on. If you allow your shyness to hinder your ability to voice your thoughts and boundaries, then yes, there is an issue there. But you, as you are, contemplative, observant, compassionate, are enough.

Your internal ecosystem of peace is your responsibility to protect and foster. Embrace being the sensitive soul you are and start living a life of true authenticity.  

Until next time,