What To Do When You Feel Stuck
5 Steps to Overcoming Uncertainty in Life and Business
“What if you were always stuck in one place, your mind spinning and unable to go forward as tires clenched in the mud because the answers wouldn’t reveal themselves to you?”
― Will Lavender, Obedience
The daily drone of a stressful business, the hurried rat race to nowhere, the emotional mildew of a rotten relationship. There are many places we can get stuck in life. Feeling betrayed by our lack of motivation. The mounting stress of living a life of stagnant unfulfillment. I’ve been there, a time or two. It can be hard to know what to do when you feel stuck. There are so many directions one can take to change your life, and yet the very multitude of choices is what is most overwhelming.
Perfectionism, fear, guilt, and shame keep us procrastinating just one more day. Thinking we will drag ourselves out of the mental mud we have made our home…one day. But the leaves change color, and we watch our friends move on with their lives through a tiny screen, and “one day” seems to never come.
Have you ever felt stuck?
I suspect so considering you are reading this, otherwise, you have unusual taste in light reading.
We have all been there, at times when life seems to slow down and you feel as though the path you have been on no longer makes sense. You forget how you even ended up where you are and start questioning whether or not to keep going. Finding it difficult to know when to cut your losses and change direction.
Negativity and restlessness can take many forms in one’s life, from relationships to careers, like a shadow following everything you do making yourself second guess every step you take. Or even worse, makes you question everything to the point of a total shutdown. Where you back away from everything, even the things you know you enjoy, what some would call depression, or in the business world, burnout.
It doesn’t make sense how quickly emotions and feelings can take control of your reasoning, giving way to anxiety that can sweep you off your feet, placing you in the false sense of safety found nested within the sheets of your bed. A sad truth that the namesake of my website can also be used to harm as well as heal.
Squirrling yourself away from the world is not something to aspire to, however cozy the blankets are. I think we can all agree that while we have felt feelings of uncertainty, confusion, disenchantment, and just plain ole being stuck, no one wants to stay in that place. In a world surrounded by the wiles of productivity, being stuck is not an option when we have dreams, goals, and aspirations to tend to. It is a major inconvenience to have uncertainty cloud your day-to-day judgment, and for entrepreneurs, it is simply not an option to just roll over and let stress and anxiety take over.
So, to help you overcome those complicated feelings of ‘being stuck’ here are some things you can do:
What To Do When You Feel Stuck
1) Recognize the Origin
Where are these feelings stemming from? What triggered the lack of motivation and direction? To help yourself from slipping back into this state too often, you need to learn how to recognize your triggers early on before they fully take over.
I don’t mean beat yourself to death (literally or figurately) trying to find that one event that happened 12 years ago that still haunts you and dissect each memory. Staying in the past too long is often the very thing that keeps us stuck. Taking your time to asses where things started to slide is helpful, in moderation. Be careful how much you allow yourself to dwell on events that cannot change, and are likely not allowing you to change either.
By doing so my friend, you have just started your self-investment journey.
2) Take Some Time Away
There is no harm or shame in needing a minute to yourself it can be very healing. Take “minute” (to mean any liberal amount of time) a day, a week, or two weeks. Whatever time frame allows you to go through the healthy journey of feeling your emotions and processing them. A change of environment is especially ideal. It is difficult to process and make changes when you’re surrounded by old memories, habits, and people.
Allowing yourself to FEEL, not just acknowledge, your emotions provides a new layer of internal freedom. Taking time away to rest and reflect is just as important as putting in the effort to get things done.
For my fellow ladypreneurs out there this could look like a semi-annual retreat. Stepping away from the “Boss Babe Burnout” and into a reflective space that allows you to rest and reset into balance.
The average person can’t just pick up and walk away from their lives and/or businesses, and I’m not suggesting you do. But find ways to evolve and mature your surroundings to match the new energy you’re bringing into your life. New wall color, organize your neglected bathroom sink, incorporate a new driving path to work, and meet new people at the library. Little ways that take you out of your norm and into something new.
“Your speed doesn’t matter, forward is forward”
-Nathan Koorey
3) Have You Forgotten Something?
Sometimes when we place big goals on our shoulders we tend to ignore the activities we enjoy in pursuit of our dream. Life is more than just the rat race. Is not finding enjoyment in every part of life and taking time to do the things you love, the overall end goal? If not, why set such lofty goals in the first place if all you expect to do is work?
We work hard to play hard, just don’t forget you’re allowed to play along the way.
Try incorporating creative moments in your daily or weekly (baby steps) life that allow for gratitude and expression. Things that remind you along the way that there are still parts of life that are beautiful.
For me, baking is the way to go. Quiet time, exploring and creating recipes, and having a delicious treat at the end of it? Win-win! See how baking can improve your life in more ways than one here.
4) Remind Yourself of Your Why.
Sometimes when you’re feeling stuck it is for a very good reason. Perhaps it’s God’s way of telling you you’re not on the right path and you may need to reevaluate your goals. Or, you’ve been bogged down by the routine and it is simply time for a reminder of your why?
Where are you going? What is driving you to take these steps? What is the end goal and is that still in alignment with your current path? If nothing changed about your life now, would you be content in 2 years?
I know it can be scary to even question the path you are on now, change is daunting, especially if you have been on a certain road for a long time. But isn’t it better to jump off now than to continue to be in a funk until something else in your life forces an even greater change?
Reevaluation is key to self-investment, and you are better off for it.
See here how you can kickstart the organizing of those goals.
5) Take A Step
At some point, you will have to peel yourself off the couch and do something productive. Ew, I know.
Wash those dishes you have been neglecting, take a shower, get out your journal, read those emails, and start to take some steps in the right direction. Even if you don’t fully know where you are going yet, the final step to no longer feeling stuck is to challenge yourself to move.
If you need a hand with taking that step I invite you to check out In-nested’s resource page, where you will find supportive materials that will guide forward.
Doing anything productive is the key here, even if it is not directly related to the major issue you are battling. Reaching small achievements that start to rebuild your confidence and get you moving in the right direction can be rejuvenating.
“If it is important to you, you will find a way. If not, you will find an excuse.
-Melanie Bremner
Final Notes
Fear will always be associated with change, we are wary of the unknown for good reason. To jump blindly from one place to another without looking is foolish. But thoughtful, premeditated action towards a goal is the simple way to reduce fear. *Note I said reduce, not eradicate. Choose instead to have hope. Hope that the choice you make next is the right one. And heads up, it will be.
Even if the outcome leads to disaster, it is change, it is opportunity. Anything that gets you unstuck regardless of the direction is freedom. And berating yourself for “making the wrong choice” is a waste of time.
Tell your inner perfectionist to chill.
Any choice made whether the outcome is what you wanted or not; is unpredictable. You only know in hindsight that is was the right one to make. So just try, make an educated guess, and jump!
6) Be Kind
Oh, look! A bonus step, how sneaky.
As always, one of the core messages I like to preach about is being kind to yourself; something that is very applicable to this particular topic. We tend to be so hard on ourselves unnecessarily. Berating our actions, our thoughts, and our feelings, when we fall short of our version of perfection or what “other people seem to manage.”
We lessen the bravery of making a change and take it out on the only person who has been there and supported you since day one, YOURSELF. Of course, we have others in our lives that love and support us but, if you think about it, from beginning to end, the one person you can always count on being there is yourself.
Not in a cynical way, but rather illustrating how important it is to be kind to yourself. Yes, there may be unfortunate times in your life when you are all you’ve got to depend on, but it’s more than that.
How you treat yourself when you’re feeling stuck, is perhaps an accurate reflection of why you are stuck in the first place.
Do you trust yourself and your actions?
Do you truly believe in your dreams, and more than that, do you feel you deserve to achieve them?
I hope the answers to those questions are positive and uplifting, if not, don’t feel discouraged, but you do have some self-work to put in. Self-improvement, self-care, feeling worthy, and having the motivation and gumption to fight your corner and walk your path takes time and patience to build. Whatever the struggle you are facing, just remember you have the power of your will and the wisdom of past experiences to help guide you into a brighter and better future. And you have me, rooting you on in the distant void of the internet!
I’m someone who enjoys hearing regular positivity to help me keep going, if you’re the same I welcome you to join my bi-monthly newsletter for all things wellness, business, and self-investment.
Be kind to yourself and take it one day at a time, the gloom and uncertainty won’t last forever if you take steps, no matter how small, toward positive action.
Wishing you the best!
Until nest time,
